Getting better with every passing second. [Read: 20 things you MUST know to master a dry sense of humor]. Come on, now I want you to whisper that question slowly to my ear. I'm happy! "If it looks like I give a damn, please tell me. 83. 1. If at first, you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you. Save it for your best friend, but avoid using it on your teacher. It is a common belief that auto-responses are monotonous and boring. 1. Everyone wants me, but no one dares! Financially? I suggest you do a little soul searching. Do I look like someone whos into cheesy things like romantic relationships?! original sound - Tyren Sams. Hopefully, not as good as I will ever be. Stellar, great, fantastic but dead inside. My grandfather had a ton of these. The best I can be. More like, How I Met That Jerk I Quickly Forgot About. Awwits so cute when you talk about things you dont understand. Feeling confident? (Wriggle your hips), Oh, stop it, will you? Another way to say Still Alive? If you are in a coma, then that is a valid excuse for not texting back. Its always annoying when people take a long time to reply. Brian OldWolf (author) from Troon on July 30, 2020: Yes, this is a very witty, funny article. After all, every single day that you're still alive is a good day overall. Maybe they like you so much that it triggered some kind of reaction that ended their life. The music billboard charts got it wrong! 39 Heartfelt Poems For Your Mom On Her Birthday, Mom And Daughter Relationship: Everything You Need To Know, 150 Special Ways To Wish Your Long-Distance Girlfriend On Her Birthday, 39 Long-Distance Love Letters To Show Your Love For Him, 51 Good Morning Messages For Her In A Long-Distance Relationship, 24 Beautiful And Touching Poems For People In Long-Distance Relationships, 15 Most Important Things In A Relationship, 61 Great Long-Distance Friendship Quotes And Sayings, 9 Important Qualities Of A Healthy And Happy Relationship. Make sure you give witty responses only to persons close to you, or you know they wont get offended by such responses. 2023 The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers on this website. Don Draper? I am doing wellor that could be my anti-depressants speaking. All rights reserved. June 14, 2022; pros and cons of stem cell therapy for knees . 13. I am better on the inside than I look on the outside. Its a shame you cant Photoshop your personality. Rotting flesh is less offensive than you. Maybe the reply is just taking a long time to come back. 58. Same thing youre doing, talking to you now. You may join me, though. "See, I will finally make you smile.". What could go wrong? Im a little busy right now, but Id love the chance to ignore you some other time. I'm glad to know that you're alive.". 50. Like are you asking because you really wanna hear whats up?. Yup, I dont share it. 17. (Say it like he or she is complimenting you even though he or she is not.) Who told you that? Alive Jokes. He sold it to me on his deathbed. Why is it OK for you to be an idiot, but not OK for me to point it out? It must have been a long, lonely journey. *Siri activates front camera*. I guess what Im trying to say is, pick your response carefully based on who youre talking to. but that was before I read Fred's comment below. But if youre getting fed up with always being asked the same questions, you shouldnt feel bad about giving a funny or witty reply. If you've ever worked in an office, used municipal buildings or lived in a city, chances are, you already know what public notices are bland, dull, usually complaining and rarely funny posters that tell us somewhat useful information about all kinds of things. It was also revealed that 40% of users who said they had done the ghosting did so because they simply didnt know how to explain their disinterest and felt that disappearing altogether was less hurtful. If I had a tail, I'd wag it. Your secrets are always safe with me. and our Is everything stable at your end? Hemali is an ICF-Certified ACC Level Life Coach with 3 years of experience in relationship, marriage, and grief coaching. 1. He was a good OP, of impeccable character. 2023 Privacy Policy | Terms of Service | About Us | Write for Us | Contact Us, How to be funny and make someone laugh over text just by being YOU, How to learn to be witty and win over everyone in the room, 20 wise medieval insults you could bring back into trend, 12 types of humor you can use and how it affects the people around you, How to be funny and make people love your company, 30 foolproof pickup lines and 10 you should never ever use, How to have playful banter and keep the flirting alive forever, 20 things you MUST know to master a dry sense of humor, The step-by-step guide to being a funny person and make everyone love your company. *licks lips*. Perfect for that BRB, shower text that they never BRBd to. You don't want to be rude, but it's okay to give them a little sarcasm by using this phrase. Follow us on Instagram Facebook Twitter Pinterest and we promise, well be your lucky charm to a beautiful love life. What if questions can help you form connections fast, but you don't want to rush or force it. I love you. Single is the new blackif that even makes sense! I hated you the moment I met you, and I still hate you. "It's your ego that wants to lash out," Winter tells Bustle. And it's time for me to make my escape. Privacy Policy. Im in a loving, committed relationship with my bed. 2. I thought you already knew you were a sociopath. For some reason, some people think that not texting back is cool. 14. Then they throw dirt in your face. In fact, theyre taking too much of it. What do you say when people ask you that? Because youre highly qualified. You may have noticed that I take a step back when we talk. Could Be Payday. Before you complain about anything, be thankful for your life and the things that are still going well.". Ill get back to you tomorrow when the results are in. Oof, gotta hide! Your question is registered, we will answer when in the mood. Check out the following infographic for some practical tips to maintain a conversation and take it forward.SaveIllustration: StyleCraze Design Team. Im sorry I hurt your feelings. 76. Well, I'm old enough to beat you in a marathon. However, I dont recall anything about morons. Acting like a prick doesnt make yours grow bigger. 16. Hence, you may need to put in some effort to keep the conversation flowing. Nikhil Saluja, "Immortality . 6. 70. All you have to do is save this page, or commit to memory some of our favorite insults from the following list, and youll be all set. . If this is the person youre talking to, just insure them that you are aware they are not away from their phone. Nasty comebacks dont require a lot of wit; instead, these will land your target flat on their back and wallowing in self pity. Every civilisation has its genesis and its conclusion. 13. (This line came from the cartoon show. still alive 810 GIFs. Some people spend all their time on their phone. There is not always a need to be so funny, witty, or clever. 48. Well, Im hoping its going to get a lot better, I cant lie. Average, I think, that sounds about right. Socrates (philosopher), "The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated." Now you can be! On a scale of one to punching someone in the face, I am at 7.5. 3. . 84. He's jokingly texting if you're ok. What do you mean Im still single. How to respond to an ex asking how you are? Thats because the person I like doesnt like me back. It's best to say when you're in a horrible situation, like in a class you can't stand. I plead the fifth. 2. Im not single. This one is a bit long. What Is A Micro Wedding And How To Plan It? Your hair looks great! Someday, you might actually say something intelligent. Canva. So, ditch the mechanical responses and adopt the witty and fun replies to keep the conversations exciting! 2. Funny responses to "How are you?" Photo courtesy of Canva. Going strong. All jokes aside, death is one of the few "sure things" in life, and it's also something all of us have in common. I agree, thanks for sharing. Funny Response to "What Are You Doing?" "I cry." Humor is about creating surprises. "I am doing good, thank you" is basic, and you can do better than that! Use them as you see fit when someone pokes their nose on your relationship status. Sorry, life. Another common excuse that younger people tend to give when they take a long time to reply is Ive been busy with uni. So, it might be wise to double-check theyre still alive before you complain. The only thing offending me right now is your face. I dont think youre stupid. How impressive! So, you changed your mind? But, if you do say it, it will highlight the problem. Not. Oh, stop it, will you? That will ensure there will be at least one man who will regret my death. Heinrich Heine (author), Fear of death increases in exact proportion to increase in wealth. Ernest Hemingway (author), Its funny the way most people love the dead. 10. Hemali Adhiya, ICF Certified Relationship Coach, Expertise: Relationships, Marriage, Couples, Grief, Life Coaching, Hemali is an ICF-Certified ACC Level Life Coach with 3 years of experience in relationship, marriage, and grief coaching. 57. 1. Keep asking and maybe one day youll get a sensible answer. 69. A truly stinging sarcastic response to I love you. Well, seeing as you care, how long do you have? Moving in with Roommates? but it's just so blunt and funny. You don't want others to assume that you feel as horrible as you look, so this is the way to set them straight. If someone is going to ask you the same old everyday questions, I dont think Im being unreasonable when I say theyre probably just going through the motions and not really interested in your answer. Dont get caught with nothing to say. Stop joking! Things can't get much better and you want the world to know. - Anonymous. When I eat cake, I flip it upside-down just so I can lick the icing off the plate! " Actually, you're mad" is a version of the classic, rhetorically sophisticated comeback "I'm rubber, you're glue." This one is the white-belt level of "who's mad?" martial arts a simple. Someone took their costume way too seriously. Were already married, remember?! Thats because I only enjoy long, romantic walks to the fridge. This one is bound to get a laugh. Before I answer, I let you know that those who know my age get bad luck. It's Okay. You a cop? [Read: 30 foolproof pickup lines and 10 you should never ever use]. 4. 87. Theres too much Ghostbusters texting potential to not take advantage of the pun-tastic opportunity. Id love to insult you, but you probably wouldnt understand. With Tenor, maker of GIF Keyboard, add popular Are You Still Alive animated GIFs to your conversations. Well, I have to go to work so Ill try and make the best of it. Some people may have thyroid problems, but I can tell youre fat because youre lazy. Are you going to help me have a good day? If your best friends are worrying about you due to your new break up, this one you can use to make them feel relaxed. I am the hurricane setting fire to the forests at night when no one else is alive or awake however you choose to see it and I live in my own flames sometimes burning too bright and too wild to make things last or handle myself or anyone else and so I run. Most of the time, that is not true. Nah, just kidding (though it might be true to some of you). They really care for you, and you better value their presence well. Taco Tuesday is pressure enough, I tell you! Great, because my name wasnt in todays obituaries. "Ugh I was so lazy this week. 35. The foundation of any effort to get your ex boyfriend back starts and ends with the no contact rule - which means you probably shouldn't be texting with him in the first place. "Accept the facts for what they are, and be grateful you're not being strung along or played.". What an impertinent question to ask a girl! Checklists & Reminders! You win the internet. When someone takes a long time to reply, it can feel like an empire could have risen and fallen in that time. [deleted] 5 yr. ago. Which one you use would depend on particular circumstances, but in the example you gave, I think "still alive" probably works best. It is a basic courtesy that when one of your leads converts to a paying customer, you demonstrate your gratitude and make their transfer as smooth as possible. 9. Who knows, maybe you can steer a conversation in a more intriguing path. I cant really complain, but I will still try. . A real low-life. Too early to say, it hasnt finished yet. Alternatively, you can let them know you are doing well but still need time to process your emotions. On a scale of 1 to 10, Id say somewhere between 1 and 10. [Read: 33 very creative insults to intellectually insult someone with your sarcasm]. Ghosting is an unfortunately very common occurrence, according to a 2020 Hinge survey, which found that 91% of users had been ghosted at least once. Could be better, though. Click here for additional information. I only went to the gym four times instead of my usual five." Sarcastic response: "Yeah totally. Getting into a romantic relationship with someone may seem like a good idea, but so was getting into Titanic. Why not laugh about it and allow it to bring us closer together? I just adore my own company. Your birth certificate is an apology to your parents from the hospital. 15. You are living proof that manure can learn to walk and talk. Perhaps you said something as egregious as Hey. You nervously reply "yeah, but I'm a little busy and-", only for one person to reply "um, no one asked you. Make sure the person you say this to is able to take a joke. I get my daily paper, look at the obituaries page and if Im not there, I carry on as usual." If you're friendly and check in with each other here and there, reply but keep the conversation short. So much better than most people. Trying to remember the name of that weird person you remind me of. But half the time, it is a nightmare. But it does help if you know your audience when responding to someone. HubPages is a registered trademark of The Arena Platform, Inc. Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners. I always root for the little guy. How did you get here? Was that comment meant to offend me? Death is inevitablesome might even say it is a terminal inconvenience or a reason to suddenly stop sinning. Use the opportunity to make a good impression. 24. Like "I am not a Sunday morning inside four walls with clean blood and organized drawers. If you want, Ill give you a discount, baby. 18. Scientists say the universe is made up of electrons, protons, and neutrons. Its because I always show up on dates with bottles of wine for myself. Your lips are moving, but all I hear is blah, blah, blah.. Have you been thinking? This is a good response to throw out there. Its going great, really! 45. 12. To text, most of us need our thumbs. Thats because theres no vacancy in my heart. 01 "I thought we were both adults but clearly, I was wrong. Hanging by a thread. Because Im awkward and ugly. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Some Funny Responses to Everyday Questions. 47. If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world. It is a humorous way of saying they have not heard from you in a while. Heart-shattering. Theres only one problem with your face: I can see it.

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